Crappy Attitudes

I figured that I ought to post this on a blog, rather than on Facebook, mainly for selfish reasons, but also because this is a better place to whine and complain about the things in life and just get everything on my mind "out there."

Recently, my life's been pretty bad.  While some of it hasn't been my fault, most of it has been because of me.  My general attitude toward nearly everyone and everything has been all-around horrible.

I decided that because people chose not to include me in all their plans and not give me the same attention I was trying to give them, I was going to reject them totally. I separated myself from everyone; eating meals completely alone, refusing to "hang out" with anyone at anytime, choosing to leave either physically or mentally at any sign of conversation, keeping my head low to avoid any possible eye contact, sitting by myself on the opposite side of the church during service to avoid even any and every chance of running into someone I might even slightly know.

I had every desire to actually be with people, but only if they showed the same desire to be with me.  If anyone even said that they needed to have "some time to be alone" or showed any sign of being " too busy with other things," then I decided that they were not deemed worthy of my trust, time or attention.  I already knew then that this was selfish and not what a "true friend" would do, but honestly, I didn't really give a care, because I only really cared about myself.

As I did all this, my days seemed to get worse and worse and began to think worse and worse thoughts about humanity in general:

However, a verse in Philippians stuck out to me today:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

I've begun to realize that while other people and things can effect my day, whether good or bad, it's ultimately up to me whether or not I allow them to have an effect on my day through my reaction (attitude) toward those people or things that I run into each day.  I shouldn't allow myself to be swayed by fleeting emotions or the current situations but rather be fixed on living by the unchanging principles that characterize a disciple of Christ.

Although it may seem like I have this all under control, I'm still sorting it out.  While I know what is right, I still cling on to what I think is right, because I can't ever seem to find any "hard evidence" in my day-to-day life that supports what I really know to be right is in fact true.